More backyard melodrama

Scott's out of town this week. It's been nice to have a few solitary days this weekend reading, taking myself out to breakfast, puttering around the house. In fact, the only human contact I've had all weekend has been at the coffee shop, the post office and when Scott has called to check in on me.

Today when he called, I was in our upstairs office, standing at the window staring out in to the garden. As we talked, I noticed a squirrel.

Me: Hey, a really cute squirrel just came into the yard.

Scott: Get down there! Quick, feed him a nut so he knows this is his spot and he'll start to come around!

Me: Yeah, I should. We hardly ever see squirrels here!

Scott: Go!

Me: OK! I'm going downstairs now. Oh, hang on, he's digging around in the flower bed. Hmm. I think he's got something in his mouth. I don't have my glasses. Wait. Oh, God. Is that....no....Scott, I think he's got a snail!!!!! Yes--he's running away with. He's going to eat it!!!! No!

Scott: My God. Your worlds have just clashed.